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Wed, Nov. 4th, 2009, 11:16 pm
emptygenderfuck: Introduction Post. I live between Wonderland and Neverland.

Name: Ash

Age: Twenty

Gender: My gender is fluid. I take comfort in the Genderqueer identity; however, I am trans-identified. It is my hopes and dreams to have top surgery performed and to take hormones. Some mornings I wake up and feel like a beautiful lady. Other days I wake up and feel like a twink of a boy. Most days I feel like I am existing somewhere in the middle, though I recognize the changes I want.

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

Location: A place between Wonderland and Neverland. On this plane, however, that would be Pennsylvania, United States.

ED: Recovering anoretic/ ED-NOS. I should probably delve into this more.

SI?: I have not self injured in some time; however, I am actually accepting of self injury if it is done in careful thought. I have worked extremely hard to restrain from any impulsive self abuse and have actually incorporated it into my sex life, actually. I identified as a cutter from the time I was eleven or twelve, though I practiced forms of self abuse before that. I eventually began other forms of injury as well. Though it is something I have not experienced in some time, I am not one to say that I have stopped or am recovered from the idea of it. I do not know if I will ever step away from the possibility of me self injuring again.

When did you start your ed?: It has sort of always been with me, to a point. However, I had an immense growth spurt when I was in Middle School which led to its initial development. Watching my breasts and hips develop really frustrated me, for whatever reasons. Well, not whatever reason but the somewhat... obvious reason. Obvious now, as I look back on it. Anyway, when I was in high school I had a boyfriend who basically force fed me daily. I developed really odd tendencies to make me feel better about the fact that I was having all sorts of odd anxieties related to food over that. When I went to college my disordered eating basically flourished, and my eating problems developed into anorexia nervosa. It was dreadful. It continues to be dreadful. However, while in recovery I have reached a stable weigh that, well... of course... I am not happy with. I want to desperately reach 120-125 range without then continuing on with my weight loss/ restricting/ etc. That is the goal anyway... that is my goal. I want to lose weight and not be sick.

Height: 5' 10"
HW: 170-ish.
LW: 110-ish.
STG: 120-125-ish.
LTG: Maintaining 120-125-ish and being content.

Say something about yourself: I am a super happy vegan!!